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Small steps · a trail

The same side

Four small steps for the fights you keep having: stand beside them facing the problem, never confront on impulse, ask if this is the hill — and hear both sides before you feel anything.

  1. Step 1 of 4Get on the same side of the problemFour people, independently, one geometry: conflict goes better when the two of you stand together facing the problem — not facing each other across it.5 min · one small step
  2. Step 2 of 4Never confront on first impulseWait as long as calming down takes — impulsive confrontation is the kind you replay with a wince. One honest catch: if waiting means never, set a time.5 min · one small step
  3. Step 3 of 4Is this the hill?Pick the battles that matter and let the rest go — being right is cheaper than it feels, and at work you can be completely right and completely fired.2 min · one small step
  4. Step 4 of 4Hear both sides before you feel anythingHuman nature sides with the first story it hears — and tellers skew kind to themselves. Get the facts before your feelings sign anything.2 min · one small step
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