Dating
None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.
If you only read a few
Ask directly for permission to kiss, using phrases like 'May I kiss you?' or 'Can I kiss you?'.
It shows respect and avoids potential accusations of sexual assault.
4 people, independently
Build a life where a partner can fit in, rather than building a life around finding a partner.
5 people, independently
Watch how someone treats others to judge if their actions toward you are specific or just their usual demeanor.
If they act that way with everyone, it is likely just kindness; if it happens only with you, it could be flirting.
6 people, independently
- Observe how the person interacts with others to determine if their behavior toward you is unique or part of a general personality.3
Start with a casual friendship and treat potential partners as equals.
This approach ensures you receive greater respect.
- One person noted this worked for them but expressed uncertainty ('Idk').
3 people, independently
Offer your own contact information instead of asking for the other person's number to reduce pressure and awkwardness.
It shows interest respectfully and takes pressure off; knowing they have your info implies some level of interest if they call.
- Some people feel this kills assertiveness or confidence.
- Do not hand out info to strangers without establishing a social connection first.
5 people, independently
- Offer your phone number to a potential romantic interest instead of asking for theirs.9
Participate in hobbies, sports teams, volunteer work, or social clubs to broaden your circle and meet people naturally.
You need to be open to widening your social group or placing yourself in settings where connections are possible; these environments often make fitting in easier.
- Requires being socially active.
3 people, independently
- Join a hobby club or group to meet people with shared interests.3
Accept rejection gracefully and do not take it personally if the person does not follow up after receiving your number.
If they do not call or text, they have no interest; pestering them will not change that.
3 people, independently
Express your romantic interest early and directly to align expectations.
Delaying makes it harder to ask; concealing interest can result in awkward friendzone dynamics or negative reactions due to lack of familiarity.
- There is a risk they may react poorly if they feel you don't know them enough yet.
4 people, independently
- State your romantic interest clearly and early to avoid being misinterpreted as only wanting friendship.3
When asked for a friend's contact info, refuse to provide it directly and offer to pass along the requester's information instead.
It ensures you have the friend's permission and protects against harassment.
3 people, independently
13 more on this
Visit your local library's site to find free or cheap zoo and museum passes, or events they host.
4 people, independently
Determine your core values and hobbies, then spend time in venues where similar people gather.
5 people, independently
Accept rejection gracefully and move on without dwelling on it.
Bouncing back from rejection is well-received and part of the process.
4 people, independently
State clearly what you are looking for to prevent sending confusing signals.
4 people, independently
Be cautious about entering into relationships with coworkers to avoid mixing personal and professional life.
Dating a coworker can lead to messy situations, avoidance, and awkwardness if things go awry.
3 people, independently
Recognize that playful or friendly behavior may be a person's natural personality rather than romantic interest.
Friendly platonic interactions can resemble flirting, and people may unintentionally project a flirty demeanor.
3 people, independently
Visit vintage stores or swap meets together to browse used goods.
It is enjoyable and a good way to spend time if you enjoy discovering secondhand apparel or collectibles.
3 people, independently
Clarify that an invitation is strictly platonic by using terms like 'wingman' or explicitly stating it is 'as friends'.
To prevent awkwardness later on.
3 people, independently
Make specific, concrete plans for dates on a specific day rather than issuing vague invitations.
5 people, independently
It is valid to focus on working on yourself before entering the dating scene.
6 people, independently
If someone does not overtly reciprocate your interest or opens up after a few conversations, interpret this as lack of interest and move on.
3 people, independently
Reject romantic advances with a blunt, unambiguous statement of disinterest and a command to stop asking.
3 people, independently
Flirt back subtly to test for reciprocal interest before making a direct move.
4 people, independently