Find Angel

Communication

None of this is expert advice. It's what people worked out for themselves, usually the hard way — what actually helped, and what they'd tell someone standing where you are. Take what fits and leave the rest.

How this was put together

If you only read a few

  1. Respond to an apology with 'Thank you' or 'I appreciate that' rather than 'It's okay', to acknowledge the harm without minimizing it.

    Saying 'it's okay' can imply the behavior was fine, excuse actions, undervalue your feelings, or train your brain to believe you don't deserve a real apology.

    • Some find saying 'thanks' awkward or pretentious.
    • For small or petty matters, 'no worries' may be appropriate.

    5 people, independently

    • Do not accept an apology by saying 'that's OK' if the action was harmful; acknowledge the damage instead.3

  2. Ask partners how they want to be loved rather than forcing your own preferred style of affection on them.

    3 people, independently

  3. Have one person filter potential dining spots down to three viable choices, then allow the other person to select one from that shortlist.

    Both people tend to be satisfied with this result.

    3 people, independently

  4. Let the person explain their issue first. Then, ask whether they seek advice or simply need to vent.

    4 people, independently

  1. If you reject an idea, you are required to offer an alternative suggestion immediately.

    This stops the decision process from becoming unbalanced and helps resolve the issue faster.

    4 people, independently

  2. Play a structured elimination game to decide on food: one person picks several options (e.g., five), the other narrows them down (e.g., to two or three), and the first person selects the final choice.

    3 people, independently

  3. Read 'Boundaries' by Henry Cloud to understand setting and keeping limits.

    It is considered a solid resource for these topics.

    5 people, independently

    • Read 'Set Boundaries, Find Peace' by Nedra Tawab for straightforward advice.3

  4. Consider responding to an apology with 'Thank you' or 'I appreciate it' to acknowledge it without dismissing the harm, though be aware this may seem smarmy, patronizing, or arrogant.

    It shows appreciation for the apology while reinforcing that they should have apologized.

    • May seem sarcastic, douchey, smarmy, patronizing, arrogant, or unyielding.
    • May imply they took too long to apologize.

    3 people, independently

3 more on this

  1. Develop proper communication skills and emotional intelligence.

    3 people, independently

  2. If you cannot agree on a meal, order or prepare dishes separately.

    3 people, independently

  3. Formally acknowledge an apology by saying 'I accept your apology' or 'Apology accepted'.

    4 people, independently

Close